Starving the Monkeys: Fight Back Smarter Page 13

  "Then if I remember Tith's stories well enough, I think I know why you both are here," Mar said, watching Tab dismount.

  The six men then sat in the shade of an oak tree in the field as the chevals grazed nearby. First, Cor explained that he was going to start breeding and selling cheval from his land, as well as instructing the tribesmen of their care and use. He warned that his plans would create both opportunity and challenge for the tribe. He then told of the many uses to which the cheval had been employed.

  Og, the elder of the six, was the next to speak as Tab unlimbered a leather pouch of materials he brought with him. Tab then began to lay the sticks and other items in front of him. The woodman explained how Cor, the previous evening, had demonstrated the power of the cheval to haul wood falls out of the forest. The chevals were also useful to apply more tension to the boughs as they were being chopped. Og estimated that with a cheval two men might do the work of six or eight. Ahks, who had assisted with the demonstration, agreed. Mar suddenly realized that the wood sledge Og was describing could also be used to haul goods for trade.

  While they were discussing this use of the cheval, Tab had built a little model of sticks. He dragged this through the dirt in front of them. "Look how easily this can dig six furrows instead of only one a man might make by himself", he said.

  Mar argued, having tried a similar thing himself as a boy, "But what you have made will just bounce around on top of the ground and barely scratch it."

  "Not if you weight it with stones," Ahks interjected, remembering laughing at his brother pulling that contraption long ago. "You even tried that yourself, but it was too heavy for you to pull. Not too heavy for that beast over there, though," he added.

  All agreed that use of the cheval represented a revolutionary change in how many tasks could be done. It was at this time that Cor stood up to speak. He described in detail the leather straps which were needed for harnesses. He also told them how the sledge and the harrow would require timber portions of the appropriate size, held together with additional leather straps. In addition, the harrow would require stones for weight. Ahks also pointed out that the harrow would be best served with stone blades, rather than wood points. "But who would build these implements?" Mar asked, each man guessing the answer already.

  "I will," Tab responded. "I will buy the leather from Tan, all he can supply. The timber I will buy from Og, and stone blades from Ahks. Each of you will supply materials dimensioned according to the instructions I will give. When I have them done, I can trade them to Mar for his credits. I will divide these credits among myself, Tan, Og, and Ahks, in proportion to the materials, their quality, and the work which each supplied. Or, each man can take in trade the harnesses and implements for themselves."

  "Won't this be more work than you can handle?" Mar asked, worried about losing Tab's traps and other legacy trade items. Ploi's delivery work had increased Tab's trap-making output measurably, he didn't want to set that back now. "It is possible that each man in the tribe will want one or two cheval each, once they understand how much work can be done with them."

  "Not at all. I've recently taken on an apprentice, Tak. He is better suited for leatherwork and large items such as this than for the fine work of trap-making," Tab assured him.

  "There is one more thing," Cor interjected. "The cheval is a powerful animal, but needs care also. Each one requires a stone's square of grazing, and a similar amount of grass even through the winter moons. Also, if a cheval becomes sick, it must be treated quickly or it will surely die."

  As each man considered this, Cor added, "The kingdom from which I brought the cheval had already solved these problems." But created other, more fatal problems, some of which grow closer each day, he didn't say. "I will show Tab how to make a rake implement which can gather the grass behind a cheval. This implement is used much like a harrow, but instead rolls the cut grass for storage. The people are already cutting the grass for trade themselves with Ahks' tools. But, to store the grasses they will have to let it dry first. I will explain these ideas to each man when they come to trade for a cheval."

  "The second problem is more severe," Cor warned. "Mowneek knows how to treat these animals for common problems, but she needs the proper herbs and ointments to do so. That Ahsee, Tith's apprentice, is he any good?"

  "Almost as good as the old man himself," Mar proclaimed, "and in some ways better. He has saved many and their animals this past year alone." But not all, he thought to himself as he remembered the loss of Ploi and Emma's parents.

  "Good," Cor sighed, relieved that Tith had passed along his knowledge so well. "Mowneek and I will go see him tomorrow to help him know what to grow and blend."

  By then the sun was setting, and so the men parted ways and agreed to begin the cheval enterprise right away. By the time of that year's berry fight Tab had some implements ready, and two of the pregnant cheval which Cor brought with him had already birthed their foals. At this festival Cor gave the tribe a demonstration of their use. He also explained that while it would take four or five years to build up a sufficient number of them for trade, he had already sent away for more adults. "In the meantime, before my friends return with more, I can help you use my stock on your own work," he assured the crowd.

  During the demonstration of the harrow, Pok Jr. put one hand on Beri's face and his other on her hip. He whispered in that mockingly serious tone of his, "Who needs a cheval? If I could get Tab to make a harness like that for you, I bet you could pull a little one-stone harrow yourself." That earned him a elbow to the ribs and an involuntary blushing smile from Beri, who had thought she had heard it all with the bunny pellet humor. Even little Beryl ran around for over a year calling her "Pellet Wife", surely at Pok Jr.'s coaching. The arrival of the cheval would surely only usher in a new era of Pok Jr.'s twisted humor at her expense.

  During the next few years more cheval arrived. The harness and implement business grew as fast as Tak could make them. And so did the ability of the tribe to feed itself and survive winters, droughts, and famines. The tribe once again surged in prosperity, their growth and sustenance no longer limited by the energy available from the sum of the tribe's muscles.

  And, under Mowneek's tutelage, Ahsee learned which herbs to grow, and how to prepare their mixtures and ointments to best heal injured or sickly cheval. At first, Cor paid Ahsee with credits to plant the herbs in the early years to support his cheval business. But later, as more tribesmen sought him out Ahsee funded the cultivation of these plants from his own work and credits.

  Eventually, any disease or injury, man or animal, was referred to Ahsee's hut and lands, or as it became more simply known, the Farm Ahsee.

  A group of individuals, acting in their own self-interest, can accomplish remarkable and revolutionary things. Don't be fooled into thinking that only large, traditional organizations are the sole source of value. Often, in our modern economy, these companies are merely a conduit for payments for value which originates from small sub-contractors, rather than as sources of value themselves. In this chapter I've taken a detour off the normal beaten economics path to make the point that economic principles are very simple. So simple, in fact, that it is easy to ramble on for pages with little stories of happy, trusting cavemen who trade fairly among themselves to improve their lives and the lives of those around them. I could keep going with stories about banking, currency, corporations, investments, foreign trade, etc., but the point has been made already. I'll save those for a children's book, perhaps.

  If these stories brought a little tear to your eye, longing for that simple life of innate goodness, but knowing that these ideas can't survive in the modern world, then pat yourself on the back. This book is for you.

  If you read these passages, and thought about how to wade through these simpletons, cheating them at every turn, then put this book down now. You won't like how it ends.

  If you felt angry at having some key points of your world view exposed to the light, then you probably sho
uld put this book down also, and just pretend that these ideas don't exist. Or pretend that you can stamp ideas out through force, via stoning, perhaps. On the other hand, these latter types probably gave up reading this book pages ago anyway.

  However, if, as you read these passages, you thought to yourself that these stories are simply the happy naive capitalist equivalent of hippie commune utopias, you missed the point. This error is not your fault, it is the fault of the societal programming to which you have been exposed your entire life. The good news is that you can correct this programming defect any time you wish, as we shall soon see.

  Chapter 5, Prancing Rabbits

  As I mentioned briefly in the last chapter, the stories about our caveman capitalists illustrate simple economic principles which have been deliberately perverted in our modern world. Some might argue that these stories are fundamentally no different than the simplistic socialist models which have always failed throughout history. In a later chapter we will inject modern reality, and show how the collectivist model has been overlaid on top of our honest cavemen to destroy them. But for now, let's compare the caveman theme to socialist utopias.

  The key difference between these caveman utopian stories, and the hippie commune variety, is that the stories in this book show how individuals might improve their lives through their honest self-interest alone. The almost-magical, yet easily understood action of the free market and individual decisions ensures that everyone who participates fairly prospers. And, when honest self-interest is unfettered there is practically no limit to the quality of life, for everyone who participates, which can be obtained over time.

  Conversely, the hippie commune requires a suppression of some, or one, individual's interests for the benefit of the group. Without a constant injection of external value, the hippie commune always fails.

  The communities of the caveman capitalist and the enlightened hippie share several key features, though.

  Both communities suffer privation. The key difference is that the caveman capitalist tries to solve privation, while the enlightened hippie treats privation as a virtue. The caveman capitalist's status and value to the community is determined by profiting by enriching the lives of others, the more the better. Contrarily, the hippie's status and value to the community is determined by how much a person is willing to coerce others into selfsacrifice.

  Both communities are vulnerable to fraud, theft, and other negative human realities. We shall explore in a later chapter how the caveman capitalist learns to handle these issues, and the attendant risks. History has shown us how the hippie commune uses these negative issues as a resource for greater suppression of the individual. More on that in a moment.

  To be fair, hippie communes aren't the only societal groups which:

  Value personal privation as a virtue.

  Take specific actions calculated to increase the amount of privation in the population as a whole, yet disguise these actions as good works.

  Proclaim that only through acceptance of the group's values can man be set free or saved from privation, even that privation deliberately created by the group itself.

  Deem self-interest so negative as to be destroyed at all costs.

  Seek to suppress individualistic thought or action.

  Coerce individuals into self-sacrifice, specifically targeting those who display self-interest.

  Reward most those persons in the group best capable of recruiting victims or imposing more of the above.

  In fact, some of the hippie communes were established specifically as a revolt against some of these other groups, only to emulate their worst features. If this last analysis hit you in the gut and made you angry at me, without my even revealing these other groups directly, you really need to put this book down now. On the other hand, if you felt that rush which only comes from truth revealed, keep reading.

  While writing this book I delayed working on this chapter, not having a concise example of commune living from which to draw victims. Then one day, the fates smiled upon me.

  First Wife and I recently moved our business to the boondocks to work on some alternative energy and agribusiness projects. A few weeks after having our satellite DVR installed, I saw a reality-ish program which seemed to epitomize the struggle between unfettered capitalism and socialist utopian visions.

  Video Assignment

  Watch the 30 Days episode "Off The Grid" regarding the Dancing Rabbit green commune. You can probably find that episode online somewhere. In that episode, a hapless couple, convicted of destroying the planet, were frog-marched off to an indoctrination camp, named Dancing Rabbit, there to be reeducated. To reinforce their guilt, they were told that if everyone on Earth had a similar lifestyle, 12.5 planets would be required to support them. If this claim is true, I want to be on the side which has free markets, freedom of speech, and all those other good things. I heard there's a list somewhere. Add in a 600-ship navy and nuclear weapons. So equipped, we could then probably trim the staff back a little to get down to under one planet. Planet saved!

  You can read more about Dancing Rabbit at their website. The episode is referenced on their site at:

  Internet Research

  http://www.dancingrabbit.org/30Days.php This episode touched me deeply. And caused an uncontrollable gagging reflex (despite the fact that I have no uvula. If uncertain of what this means, look it up).

  For example. One "expert" on that show claimed that grocery store vegetable baggies will last a hundred thousand years. Clearly, this individual doesn't understand place value, nor has she ever dropped anything in a Mississippi swamp. First Wife pointed out that the pyramids are made of stone. These are fortunate enough to have spent their entire time in an arid, preserving climate, and yet, are falling apart. And they are only a few thousand years old.

  The hypocrisy of these groups also touches me. The alpha-choad of the group met the unlucky couple in a really nice chariot, only to immediately announce how self-sufficient their community was by fueling it with biodiesel. Really. Uhh, what cabbage patch disgorged that nice diesel car? I need some of those seeds. Oh, and that road you are driving it on didn't just grade itself and dig those ditches down the side, either, bucko.

  Later in the episode they went around begging for biodiesel fuel stock from restaurants. I didn't catch how that would work if everyone lived like them. They also dumpster-dived for supplies. Again, if we all lived like them, there would be no trash to scavenge. For a practical exercise in this strategy, visit a GoodwillTM store in a prosperous area versus one in say, mid-town Detroit. When I tried this, I found a big difference in the quality of items available. Try it for yourself and check me.

  During this treasure hunt, the prancing rabbits happened to find a nearly new hair dryer, which is exactly what one of the victims needed. Seek and ye shall find, indeed. Interestingly, this rare find happened to be carefully wrapped in plastic (gasp) against the ravages of the trash. It has been a long time since I thought something worth throwing away deserved being carefully preserved so that communists could find it later. I'm not saying it was planted there, though.

  To make a point about self-sufficiency, they trucked in a $20,000 solar power system and mounted it on a post in the evening shade. For one thing, I don't understand where the $20,000 came from, as these people don't believe in free markets. Fortunately, they do believe in using other people's money, until, as Margaret Thatcher said, those other people run out of it. Or decide to stop making it rather than have it taken away (hint, hint).

  Next, what did that delivery truck run on? And where did they plant that solar power system seed? Never mind that it was probably made in a third-world country by slave labor struggling all day in a polluting factory.

  And why do they have a website in the first place? That kind of has to put them on the grid, sort of by definition, right? Their website says that most of their residents have phones in their own homes, too. Hmmm... I'm beginning to doubt their sincerity, here.

  By far,
the crowning act of self-sufficiency was to discard the innovation of indoor plumbing. Somehow, it is a sin against the planet to use water, unlike planet-friendly true essentials such as cars, phones and internet service. Maybe the phones are painted green, but the car wasn't. Regardless, the prohibition against water explains the unwashed appearance of Alpha Choad as he was introduced in Scene Two. But, the downstream consequences are oh so much worse than that.

  Here are a few data points to, uhh, digest:

  Disconnect your toilet and replace it with a bucket. And not in your own mud hut. Oh, no, that would be living too large. No, let's put the bucket in the "Common House".

  Provide a stock of sawdust with which to cover the exudate. How big is a sawdust plant, anyway?

  Disconnect running water from the in-house so that everyone touches the doorknob with happy hands.

  Put all the people in the community together in the "Common House" for meals and rotate cooking duties so that eventually everyone will have the same strands of e-coli and hepatitis. Or HIV. I'm just saying.

  Disconnect the shower, too.

  Provide as an alternative an outdoor shower that has to be fired with wood. I thought wood was bad and creates greenhouse gases? Just don't fire it around that bucket, please.

  Accept the reality, as was stated by one of the chosen, that due to the inconvenience of a half-hour of wood-firing prep time, showers are really only a one-in-five-day thing. This helps smear the happy hands around for a while longer, too.

  Once in a while, enlist some poor sap to process the bucket of "Humanure", as they call it. Stir it around in a pit to make sure that any contagions in the pit since forever have fresh food upon which to munch.